so now i'm queer and hairy?

My body hair was the first thing I pointed out when I met my partner, but it was also the only way they clocked that I was queer. In this weird moment my body hair had become an indication of who I was possibly attracted to and somehow defined the people that found themselves attracted to me.

Body hair is a good bullshit filter.

Now, in my first queer relationship, my hair is a part of what makes me attractive - not being attractive despite it. That may sound proud but I think a big part of unpacking femininity within a queer identity is understanding what relationship you have with desirability. When you spend most of your life thinking that hairiness equates to masculinity, body hair becomes a constant balancing act of that and femininity - someone finding you desirable or not can impact your view of yourself in unusual ways. But as I move into my queerness desirability becomes less of a concern. My body becomes less about who's looking at it and what someone could gain from it and more about how I feel within it and the way in which it represents a considered version of femininity. My body hair only adds to this - it's no longer being about making a statement or experimenting with societal perceptions of my own body but how it's become a permanent thread throughout my identity and one that's rooted in queerness. My own exploitation of my body hair has now been redefined, taking on a new meaning and one that finally has a positive association.

Now, it simply exists. And of course, it's a heavily considered existence but it's such a comfortable one that it tends to sit in the background slightly. I'm only reminded that it's there when my partner strokes my legs in bed or when my friends ask to touch my snail trail when I'm wearing low rise jeans but it's just as much of a part of me as anything else now. There's no direct intention with it anymore, only representative of the work done to get to this point.

I have no need to question anymore. Others may draw their own conclusions on it but I have no interest in using my body as a topic of debate, only conversation.