Chance and Sequence
Chance and Sequence is a one day project I completed in my FAD course, focusing on certain rules that you follow to create a different outcome each time. "Chance" as a technique has been used widely across the arts, Artists, Musicians, Choreographers and Film Makers have all used it in some form - whether that is to make something abstract or to be able to challenge their usual, conscious decisions and create work without standards or creative control. It creates outcomes that are spontaneous, unpredictable, random - whilst sometimes unusually making perfect sense. This specific ideology is something I wanted to embrace and experiment with as I am aware that within my work, there is immense amounts of control exhibited.
"Chance":
Chance started with cut out poetry , a technique that follows a specific set of instructions using a dice. In this exercise, we had to roll a dice to determine how many rows to go down, then again for the amount of words across - so the "instruction" itself was determined by something I was unable to control but limited to only six numbers so still specific enough for there to be an outcome. I enjoyed the ease of this exercise, how I had no control over what work I created and the way this piece was curated, yet still specific to my refined and extremely particular style.
A clear example of how a completely unnatural, randomized process can create something that fit into my natural style, is the first poem - " A woman presented her daughters, a man performed politically her daughters". This unintentional poem I felt commented on a certain aspect of my life, looking directly at the difference in how each parent views their daughters - whether that be presenting them apologetically as they are, or "performing" them, even "parading" them as political objects. This idea could take on many forms and go down several routes but I felt, as unintentional as it may be, that it approached the raw subject of how women are viewed in society and the impact of the male gaze, in a non-confrontational way. For me specifically, it felt cathartic having not deliberately made this piece with anything in particular in mind and for it to still relate personally.
"Like your sister, hide"
This project gave me the opportunity to experiment with my creative process, encouraging me to give up control over my pieces and produce well developed and meaningful outcomes. Ignoring my usual anxieties about exact aesthetics, the work was able to lead itself, which is a technique which I've rarely explored. Forcing myself into a position where I have no control was unnerving, awkward and at times quite difficult, yet it felt interesting to explore another way of working. I wanted to embrace the process I was working with, even if it felt unnatural.
The final outcome grew into a piece that explored vulnerability, relationships and anxiety about growing up. The initial quote "Like your sister, hide" was created using Chance because I wanted the emotion to be authentically generated, rather than controlling the outcome myself - removing the possibility of hidden intentions, but the meaning still remained. My interpretation of "Like your sister, hide" was an exploration into my relationship with my sister, how the younger copy and mimic the older, taking on similar characteristics, obsessions, anxieties or opinions. The piece demonstrates how similar sisters can be, perhaps without even realising, looking deeper into the weight women carry throughout their lives, with history so often repeating itself.
Female pain - The Influence of Fleabag:
Embedded in this piece is the shared experience of female pain. I wanted to share how difficult it can be to see your younger sisters go through the same pain and how confusing it can be to accept that, as women, we cannot exist without it. The first time I fully understood such an idea was through Kristin Scott's monologue in "Fleabag" - she describes how "women are born with pain built in, it's our physical destiny. Period pain, sore boobs, childbirth, you know - we carry it within ourselves throughout our lives" and that, to me, describes just how ingrained pain can be in women. I wanted to share how this monologue made me look deeper into the relationship I had with myself and how my younger sisters would inevitably inherit the same attitude - if the pain we feel as women is universally shared so why wouldn't the our coping mechanisms be too?
Reflection:
Looking back on Chance and Sequence, I felt this project opened me up to working in a new way, one that isn't so cautious and precise and very unlike my normal creative process. Chance is a process that is familiar to me, I've used it in my work before, in Dance, Film - I find it to be quite a comforting way of working, even if there's no control. I enjoy the way it challenges me and how it forces me to abandon my anxieties about working in such a carefree way - in the process as well as the outcome. This project has encouraged me to take more risks with my work, try things even if they don't end up the way you expect them to and to look beyond the way I usually work, as it can be quite limiting.
The delicateness of the cutout/blackout poetry is a characteristic I love but also how unintentional each part of that process was, yet the outcome can still transform into something meaningful. Influenced by surrealist practices, it encourages you to explore how "if you could give up intention, meaning would remain, but perhaps differently than you intended" - this rings a certain truth when you look at the poems created.